15th
Dear 3angryvaginalstooges
I am sorry that my blog has been boring as fuck lately. Honestly, I’ve been having a shitty week which coincidentally, has a lot to do with NOT being able to shit. I was fighting with dude I am dating for a week, and have PMS. All of these things within themselves would generally cause for good story telling, however the plethora of pricks, constipation, on top of not having someone on top of me for a week proved to drive any kind of humor deep up into my intestines to hide along with my poo.
Things for you are looking up, my friend. Saturday I went to the SNL after party and got so drunk I wasnt able to master a 10 block walk home. I woke up with blisters and sticks in my hair. Neither me, nor my lover remember how our clothes got on the floor, and I took a crap at a guys house on Sunday for the first time in about 8-10 years. The flood gates are open and the vagina’s due to drip any day now…so stay tuned.
I and hundreds dozens of a few others wait with bated breath. I knew the vitriol was still in you, just not that it was stuck somewhere in between your lower intestines & your ovaries.
As for your personal issues, don’t sweat the dude you are dating. He will ultimately prove to be unworthy of the key to your heart vagina as all of us swinging dicks are apt to do each & every time. As for the constipation issues, squeamish Tumblrs skip over this grow the fuck up as I dispense a prescription for solving this issue. If you have nowhere to be try the following: 8 oz. of very warm OJ. Heat it up in the microwave even. You will need to be ready to leap into action for about 24 hours afterwards but trust me on this one. If for whatever reason OJ does not suit your taste you can substitute a prune juice and ginger ale mix. Results will amaze you. Now you ask how does 3AVS posses this knowledge? I was studying to be a proctologist up until I insisted to my med-school professor that the tongue was the most accurate instrument to take some one’s temp. rectally. I always wanted to have an ASSMON vanity plate on my Daewoo so it was crushing.
